You want to change something in your life? Then replace the yellow lemon with something arbitrary: your last holidays, global warming, a pink elephant. You’ll realize: it remains impossible to carry out. As soon as I ask someone NOT to think about something, he will think exactly of it.
There are little siblings of NOT, such as WITHOUT, NO…, FREE OF, LESS OF, but they are used a little less often. The same principle also applies to them. Our brain cannot ignore the word NOT, or rather, it does not distinguish between the positive order and its negative counterpart.
So why do we use these words so often when they have exactly the opposite effect?
When new clients come to me for coaching and I ask them what they want to achieve, most of the answers are negative: not to be stressed out anymore, not to be impatient, not to suffer from the boss. Have you ever tried to formulate good intentions in life without NOT, WITHOUT, NONE? Have fun! This is only possible if you concentrate really, really hard and start over several times.
And there is the explanation why we use the word NOT so often: it is soooo much easier to express what we do NOT want, but soooo much harder to say what we want. Because what we do not want, we know very specifically. We can imagine it because we know it. But what we want, SOMETHING ELSE, can be a lot of things. Between the many options, we first have to find clarity – and that is very difficult and usually costs a lot of time.
But it’s worth it. If you want a change in your life, get rid of these “impossible” words, just for fun, and formulate the SOMETHING ELSE in such a way that you see it in your mind. These can also be options, or just first diffuse shapes on the horizon. Everything is better than NOT.
Only then can you reach your goals, because then you start to design, create, and engineer your future. That makes you want more. A positive cycle begins. And then you’ll be able to change your life.
Good luck!